Forgiveness is my only function here

 



Today I was doing the lesson 249 from A Course in Miracles- "Forgiveness ends all suffering and loss" and I had a beautiful realization that I felt inspired to write about.

I always felt a calling in my heart to help, to change something for the better, to be the light for others. False empathy was/is quite strong in my mind, so I wanted to be the change, to do something meaningful and impactful in that sense, to help others. I remember having this kind of inspirations from time to time but I didn't know how to do that- how to help; how to change something for the better...And because I didn't know anything about the Course and real teachings of Jesus either, I was looking for the means to do something good in the world. As it's quite common, education seemed one of those means, so I studied international law at university and I tried hard to find the way, to find the piece of the puzzle and say- this is it! I am gonna do this!- and then put all my energy and inspiration into that. But I haven't found anything. Nothing resonated. I could see even people in the seeming positions to help were pretending as if they were doing something. It was empty space where everyone tried to impress others and sense of competition was quite strong. I couldn't feel the depth and honesty. And that was disappointing. I felt like I didn't have the means or skills or abilities, that nothing I did was enough and at the same time I couldn't pretend either...And then the Course came in my life...

So, today I was doing the lesson and suddenly I've realized- forgiveness is the answer, forgiveness is my calling itself. It's all I ever wanted, it offers everything. I don't need to do anything or try to be someone to end the suffering, to see the peace and happiness in the world. I just need to forgive. I am not a victim. I don't need to face seemingly "big" problems and be disappointed by realizing that they can never be solved, because there is always some other source of suffering.  I just need to find that peaceful place in my mind and stay there and then this peace will extend and encompass everything and everyone. So beautiful!!! I don't even know how to forgive but even in this I am not alone. I just let Jesus come and live through me, that's all. I don't even need to do anything to make forgiveness happen, I just let it happen through me by having a little willingness in my heart. Can this be more perfect or easier in any way? I don't think so. I feel blessed to be on this journey.

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