What do you want this moment to be devoted to?

I always wanted to give myself to something higher, to something that would make a difference. At the beginning I wanted to make a difference in the world. Now, after I found A Course in Miracles, I realize more and more that this is the path that is for me. It's so obvious that I am not the one who is in control of how my life unfolds, and it's actually perfect because no matter how much I try to think of the best outcomes for me, the way everything unfolds is always better. I can just accept that I don't need to figure out anything.

The most beautiful thing is to see how this desire to be devoted is revealed in me, the desire that I didn't even know I had or I was afraid to admit that I had. It's like, the force that is guiding me knows me better than I know myself and arranges everything so that the prayer of my heart is answered, the prayer that I wasn't even aware of myself. So, I am just observing my own life and I am just getting to know myself and what I really want. It is revealed to me, I do not really do anything. But I also love looking at my life from the broader perspective and asking myself what I want my life to be about? What do I want my life to be the symbol of? And often when I was asking myself this question, I was going into the future, thinking how I wanted my life to look like in the future, and I wanted it to be the symbol of deep devotion to God and the symbol of Jesus. It was actually helping me to come back to Jesus whenever I was tempted into the ego thinking. This question helped me to see- "oh, I don't want to waste this moment on the ego..."
But the other day even this question and my answer was reinterpreted in my mind for the present moment. I realized that there is no future. I live my whole life in this very moment, and what I give in this moment is what my life is about. My whole life is this moment. I can be devoted only in this moment. I can focus on God only in this moment. I can love God only in this moment. I can give my heart fully only in this moment. There is no future.
And as I started perceiving every moment as a symbol of my devotion to God, doing everything while being focused on God, while loving God, I felt so much fullness in my heart. I felt like even if I died in that moment, I wouldn't care because I felt like I lived that moment fully and I gave everything in that moment and to that moment. And everytime I remember this, I just feel love in my heart and the desire to control the form or even the care about the form just falls away. I don't need anything in form when I use this moment to love God.
So, we don't need to control how our life unfolds. Actually, we can't control how our life unfolds, and we don't need to. But we have the power to decide what we want this moment to be devoted to and that's all we need to be happy ❤ Love, Nana

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