What kind of evaluation do you accept for yourself?
I watched the movie 'Peace, Love and Misunderstanding' yesterday and I am surprised that I have not watched it before. There are different interesting dynamics in there, but what came up several times after I watched it was the interaction between two Characters Zoe and Cole.
Basically, Zoe meets this guy Cole and they feel attracted to each other, but Zoe has a lot of self-concepts about what kind of guy she wants to date, she is vegetarian, she is all about protecting animals and so on. And Cole is the complete opposite of her beliefs and self-concepts (Jesus knows who we need to meet for healing). He smokes (Zoe has judgements about that as well), he is a butcher which is the main reason (seemingly) why Zoe holds back. It's interesting how we use these kinds of beliefs as an excuse to cover up our fear of love. The line that touched me was this:
"Zoe:
-Do you, uh, think I'm violent with you? Closed off? Defensive?
Cole:
-Sometimes.
Zoe:
-But you're here.
Cole:
-Yeah, I am. I am here.
Zoe:
-And I judge you for what you do.
Cole:
-That's not my problem.
Zoe:
-Well, it kind of is.
Cole:
-No, no, actually, it's - that's your problem."
I love this attitude in Cole- he doesn't take Zoe's judgements personally. Even after he heard Zoe's private thoughts about him, he still took a step towards her and when she apologized to him, he said: "Don't even think about it." He just wants to provide this loving presence and be with her no matter what she thinks about him and it's so beautiful, unconditional and deep.
And then that line- "It (your judgement) is your problem."
It's helpful to remember this when we have judgements about someone else, because the ego makes those judgements someone else's problem. As if another person needs to fix themselves so that we feel okay with them. When in truth our judgements make US unhappy and it's like a poison for US, not for that person.
And it's helpful to remember this also when others express thoughts about us- not to take them personally and hold only the truth about ourselves.
And the quotes that comes to mind and that I love to remember from the Course are when Jesus says:
"...I was persecuted as the world judges, and did not share this evaluation for myself." T-6.I.5
"I am constantly being perceived as a teacher either to be exalted or rejected, but I do not accept either perception for myself." T-4.I.6
What kind of evaluation do you accept for yourself? To me, this is important to remember both when thoughts come up as "external" characters and when I have "internal" thoughts of unworthiness, self-hatred, doubts and so on. And I think that's what Jesus means by 'choose again' - choose again what you accept for yourself, and we can feel happiness to the extent that we are willing to accept ourselves as only love. And then that's what we are teaching to others as well.
You can read the review for this movie here: https://mwge.org/movies/peace-love-misunderstanding/
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